Day 7

Day #7: The thing(s) you are most afraid of

First of all, in the spirit of full disclosure - I am afraid of failing this blog challenge. I mean seriously, these days, between work/getting ready to move/wedding planning  - my brain is going in a million directions at any given moment so I have a fairly significant fear in general of forgetting SOMETHING. My hope is that I will not forget anything truly serious or life-changing, but the possibility is definitely there.

Beside just the fear of failing this challenge or straight up forgetting something - I don't have a lot of fears I suppose. I have been thinking about this question all day, I mean bugs and creatures freaked me out until I worked as a summer camp counselor in college and had to get over that fear really quickly for the sake of my campers....I have the somewhat irrational fear of not being completely under my blanket at night. Lord knows that if I had a toe or part of my leg sticking out that I am just asking for someone to attack me in the in the middle of the night. [If you are reading this and don't know what I'm talking about...you're lying to yourself, we have all done this]

The first serious fear I have reflected on having today, is the fear of having a lack of passion. I struggle with doing things well that I am not 'passionate' about. Honestly, what it means to be really and truly passionate about something is probably a post all to itself. So for today, and more realistically, tonight I will simply say that the word 'passion' is kind of a personal buzz word to me. I find so much energy comes from being passionate and I soak up the energy of others who are passionate about their own things....to me passion and life go together. So lack of passion in anything is something that makes me lose sleep at night.

The second and most serious fear I have come up with today is the fear of what life would look like/be like if I did not trust God whole-heartedly.  I mean, honestly, I know that His plans for my life are far greater than any of my own. I know that any pain I experience, He is powerful and gracious enough to be able to turn into joy. So, as I prepare to move, start my marriage, and seek a new job - I fear not being able to trust the plans that God has for me, even though I know they will be better than anything I can imagine or pray for on my own.